In April of 1999, I received a telephone call from Susie Whang, who asked if I would be interested in working with her daughter, Sophia, to prepare her for the California Junior Miss America Pageant in September.
“How can I help your daughter?” I asked Susie.
“Sophia is very pretty,” responded Susie. “She has a 4.2 grade point average, is captain of the tennis team, plays the piano and sings beautifully.”
“Wow, she sounds like a terrific young lady, how can I help?” I asked.
“She gets very nervous and is afraid to stand on the stage and answer questions,” confided Susie.
Although 16 year old women with aspirations of winning pageants isn’t my specialty, I agreed to work with Sophia and set up a schedule of coaching sessions. When Sophia entered the room at our first meeting I saw an attractive, young woman with an infectious smile. As her mother introduced us, Sophia made brief eye contact with me and gave me a limp handshake. “I am a terrible public speaker,” she confided. Recognizing the challenges that we were about to face, I began our session by explaining the importance of sending positive messages to the subconscious mind.
After some discussion, I asked, “If you were to create an affirmation, what would it sound like?”
“I am a great public speaker?” asked Sophia.
“That sounds good, Sophia. Now, please write your affirmation on the flipchart.” I requested.
When she picked up the marker she had difficulty writing the words as she struggled with the statement of such an obvious untruth.
Over the next three months we worked to overcome her cultural issues about making eye contact with strangers, enhance her voice and strengthen her presence. Every day Sophia said her affirmation to herself many times. As the weeks passed, she became more and more confident and self-assured.
A month after our last session I received an email with the title “I am a great public speaker.” I knew immediately that it was from Sophia. The message read: “I just spoke to a group of 500 people and I was introduced by the mayor. You know I wouldn’t have ever done that before. When I finished I received a standing ovation. I am a great public speaker.”
A month later I received a telephone call from a very excited mother. She informed me that Sophia had won the California Junior Miss Pageant. “How can I thank you, Gary?” she asked.
“Don’t thank me, thank Sophia. She made it happen,” I said. “She’s the one who believed she was a great public speaker. All I did was point her in the right direction.”
What negative self-talk do you use as you prepare for your pitch? Whatever it is, turn it around and create an affirmation. Make your affirmation brief and in the present tense. If you say to yourself, “I hate to give presentations,” your affirmation might be “I enjoy giving presentations.” If you’ve received feedback that you lack passion, your affirmation might be “I am a passionate speaker.” Repeat your affirmation to yourself daily and you will achieve what you have come to believe.
